Exploring Container Theory in Coaching

My coaching program has shifted from focusing on coaching techniques to more psychoanalytical topics and theories or tools we can use in our coaching practice. To help my understanding, I’d like to start sharing what I’ve learned each week. Hopefully, you find it useful in your life too.

This week we focused on Container Theory - the class was taught by one of the founders of my program, and therapist turned coach, John Kim. Let’s dive into my understanding of container theory and how it can be used in the coaching world.

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Container Theory suggests that a safe and secure environment (the “container”) is necessary for personal growth and development. The container is the metaphorical space in which individuals live and grow. If the container is broken or unsafe, growth is stunted, but it can be rebuilt.

Container theory is not a novel concept, it originates from the therapeutic community and has been used as the foundation for programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous.

When using container theory in coaching, the coach's role is to act as a detective, not a doctor, and to help individuals explore, investigate, and uncover their true selves. Individuals have a "Pseudo Self" and a "Solid Self," and coaching can help individuals become more aware of their Solid Self and develop an execution plan to pull from that self more often.

The Pseudo Self is the false, limited version of oneself, which is often created by past experiences, limiting beliefs, and societal expectations - the person you “should” be. The Solid Self, on the other hand, is the true, authentic version of yourself that has the potential for growth and development. - the person you really are, your “true self.”

The conflict between the Pseudo Self and Solid Self can cause confusion, frustration, and dissatisfaction with your life. However, by identifying the Pseudo Self and working towards becoming more aware of the Solid Self, you can create a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Let’s do a little exploration of your own pseudo vs solid self.

Recall a time in your life when you felt alive, or confident, or at your very best. Describe yourself during that time - how you felt and what behaviors you exhibited. Be specific. What were you doing, seeing, feeling in that moment?

Those feelings and actions are your solid self.

Now, let’s explore your pseudo self. Recall a time when you felt a pull to be someone, or do something, based on your surroundings. Perhaps a time you changed your behavior to fit in or altered your approach to a problem because of how others were acting in that moment. Maybe a time when you felt pressured to be or do something that wasn’t really “you.” Think about how you felt in that moment. What were you doing? How did you feel?

That’s your Pseudo self.

Now imagine your Pseudo self and Solid self standing side by side. Visualize both versions of yourself - what’s different about them? What specific behaviors or actions define them? Imagine now that you fully embody your Solid self. What specific actions you would take to live from your Solid self?

That’s the beginning of the work to plan how you can access your Solid Self more frequently. Take some time this week to think about this more fully, and see if you can identify specific triggers that cause the Pseudo self to emerge and develop some strategies to counteract those triggers and access your Solid self more frequently.

In container theory, creating a safe container for growth is paramount. This can include identifying what the Solid Self looks like in everyday life, defining when it becomes difficult to access the Solid Self or when you pull from your Pseudo Self, and creating a plan of action to access it more often. It can also involve identifying false or limiting beliefs.

False beliefs, or limiting beliefs, can be major obstacles in the path of personal growth and development - they can be cracks in our containers - hindering our ability to achieve our goals. These beliefs are often formed in childhood, based on past experiences, or as a result of societal norms and expectations, and can be the foundation of our Pseudo Self. They can become deeply ingrained and lead to negative self-talk and self-doubt, which can hinder our ability to achieve our goals. As a coach, I believe it's essential to help you identify and dissolve your false beliefs.

One way I could help a client identify and break through a limiting belief is by asking them to provide evidence supporting that belief. For instance, if a client believes they are not capable of public speaking, I could ask them to share experiences or situations that have led them to believe this, and then ask them to identify the evidence that supports this belief.

Once we have identified the evidence, I would challenge them to consider whether this evidence is accurate or if there are other possible interpretations of the situation. We could also explore any counterexamples that contradict their belief and work to identify what limiting beliefs or assumptions may be contributing to their belief.

Through this process, we can begin to break down the belief and create a more accurate and positive mindset - we can heal the crack in their container. We can then work together to develop strategies to overcome the belief and build their confidence in public speaking, such as practicing in safe environments, seeking constructive feedback, and focusing on their strengths and accomplishments.

By exploring and dissolving the limiting belief, I’m also helping the client become more aware of their Pseudo Self and Solid Self, and how the limiting belief may have been shaping their Pseudo Self. This awareness can be used to further develop the client's plan for accessing their Solid Self more frequently and living a more fulfilling and authentic life. Ultimately, the goal is to help them shift their mindset and develop a more empowering and growth-oriented perspective by letting go of societal expectations, negative self-talk, and by dissolving false beliefs, we can create a more secure and authentic container for growth.

What I learned this week is that container theory can be a powerful tool for coaches to help individuals access their Solid Self and overcome limiting beliefs that may be hindering their personal growth and development. By creating a safe and secure container for growth, coaches like me can act as detectives and help individuals explore and uncover their true selves. Through this process, individuals can become more aware of their Pseudo Self and develop a plan and strategies to pull from their Solid Self more often. By identifying false beliefs and dissolving them, I can help my clients shift their mindset and develop a more empowering and growth-oriented perspective. By creating a more secure and authentic container for growth, individuals can achieve their goals and live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

How might you incorporate the concept of container theory into your life?

If you are a coach, how can you incorporate the concept into your coaching practice?

What tools or techniques might you use to help yourself or your clients create a safe and secure container for growth?

What steps might you take to create a more secure and authentic container for personal growth and development?